What Is Lifestyle Design?
Life is short, yet most of us live our lives as if we're immortals. The enthusiasm and zest for life fades away as we grow up into functioning, responsible adults. We fall into our habits and routines, greatly influenced by the expectations of the people around us. We embark upon the path our environment has set for us, and we stay the course until we hit the golden years of retirement.
The underlying assumption is that we are victims of our circumstances and that life happens to us. Thus, we unconsciously choose the path of comfort, safety and predictability. And there's nothing wrong with that; however, if you're reading this - you know it's not enough.
When you wake up to the fact that the average lifespan is around 30,000 days (and that you've already lived through a lot of them), an uneasy feeling starts to arise. At first, it lingers below the surface - a feeling that something is not quite right. With time, it gets more intense as you gain a true sense of urgency about life. One day, you realize that you have to make a change, and a seed of transformation is sown.
A new path
Let's imagine what life could be like if we assume that life happens for us. That we are fully empowered to change our lives at any moment. That we create our circumstances and are fully responsible for our own happiness. Then what?
How do you go about creating a new life? When you step off the beaten path, you're suddenly faced with infinite possibilities. So how do you navigate that? That's what lifestyle design is all about. Lifestyle design is a framework for testing assumptions, creating experiments and intentionally building a life for yourself.
Maybe you dream of travelling, moving cities, starting a business or pursuing a new hobby. Or perhaps working less, starting a family and slowing down is more your style. Even all of the above? Either way - these changes don't happen accidentally. They require self-awareness, intention, effort and a fair bit of courage.
Let's get into the fundamental principles that will guide you on your journey.
Principle 1: Life is short, don't wait
The biggest scam in the history of humanity (besides fiat currency) is the idea of the golden years of retirement. You are expected to work for 40+ years straight and look forward to a future when you're finally free to do what you want. Let's take a closer look at this idea.
1. You might not live to see the day you retire. Western society is horrified at the thought of death, and we've done a great job of hiding it from our sight. This leads to repression, where we numb and disregard any thought of death. The problem is that death ends up taking us by surprise. We waste our days in front of our phone screens as if we were going to live forever, until the day comes when we are reminded.
Wake up, you're on the clock.
2. Your general health will certainly be worse. No one dreams of long days staring into the wall at a retirement home. Still, that's exactly where most of us end up. Your dreams of sailing around the world, building a cabin in the mountains or even playing with your grandchildren might not be feasible if you wait until your 60s and 70s.
Get after it while you can.
3. You might have been chasing the wrong dreams your entire life. A lot of people finally get to retirement, only to realize that they don't enjoy the dream they have spent their lives longing for. It turns out sailing is a lot of work. Drinks on the beach still gives you hangovers. But how would they know? They never considered testing their assumptions before, unconsciously choosing to bet their entire lives on low-resolution ideas, allowing life to take them by surprise.
Don't let this be you.
Principle 2: Self-awareness is foundational
Self-awareness is the foundation that you'll build your life upon. Without it, you'll step right into the most common pitfalls of the ambitious modern human:
1. Mimetic Desire. Without self-awareness you'll always revert to your mimetic desires. These are the desires you unconsciously adopt from your peers and society at large. Your friend has a new car, now you want one. Your sibling has a prestigious job title, and suddenly you're not as happy with your own work. Most of these desires aren't real, but if you haven't identified your true, congruent goals - what else is there?
2. Proxy Goals. It's easy to chase markers of success that don't actually align with what we genuinely want—these are called "proxy goals." For example, you might aim for a high net worth, thinking that financial abundance will give you the freedom to paint, enjoy quality time with your family, and travel. In pursuit of this, you may find yourself locked into a demanding corporate job, logging long hours and missing out on the very activities you value most.
Proxy goals are treacherous because they disguise themselves as our true desires. Being aware of this trap can help you focus on what truly matters to you, rather than getting sidetracked by societal markers of success.
3. Escapism. Escapism comes in a lot of forms, but in regards to lifestyle design it often comes in the form of daydreaming. This is the same tendency as in those who wait all their lives for retirement, as we discussed earlier. You might want to learn how to cook delicious meals, learn a new language or learn how to surf. You dream about the amazing meals you'll whip up for your friends and the long waves you'll effortlessly surf through. But what's stopping you from doing any of those things right now?
Chances are most of it is available to you. If that's the case, it means that you're probably engaging in some nice escapism. It also means that you're either held back by fear, or not actually motivated by these experiences at all. Oftentimes, the thought of something is more compelling than the thing itself.
To ensure that you sidestep these pitfalls, get clear on your values.
Principle 3: Experiment, learn, adjust
Effective testing is the key to successful lifestyle design. Let's take a look at your life plan. Maybe you want to move to Spain after your kids have moved out of the house. You imagine Mediterranean meals, talking to locals and strolling by the beachfront. Your unconscious assumption might be that you'll be happier and more relaxed in Spain.
Instead of waiting 20 years to confirm your assumptions, the rational approach is to test them beforehand. To do that, you'll design experiments of different types, allowing you to gain new experiences and insights. As you design these experiments, aim for ones that are low-risk or easily reversible.
Scout multiple Spanish locations when you go on vacation and try to get a feel for the lifestyle. Take a Spanish language class. Talk to a local. At least make some paella at home.
With these experiences in mind, you're able to make better choices. If it's everything you ever wanted - go all in. But you may discover that you don't like spanish cuisine, or that the weather gets too hot. If that's the case, you adjust your goals and design new experiments. Maybe Norway is more your vibe?
Principle 4: Think holistically
Lifestyle design isn't all about hobbies or traveling. It's about having an intentional approach to everything you do in your life. Your home, your relationships, your health, your habits, your career, your possessions, your mindset.
Thinking about moving out of your house and into an apartment? Switching jobs? Writing a book? The cycle of experimenting, learning and adjusting works the same way, regardless of what type of change you are considering. Make sure to take all aspects into consideration when making significant changes. A part of you might want to live off-grid in the woods, but you might get in trouble with the part of you that enjoys the convenience of urban living.
Principle 5: Think differently about wealth
You probably already realize that possessions are proxies for wealth. Sure, that new Mercedes droptop is pretty slick, but it can't compare to the trifecta of true wealth;
Health - Health is the foundation that your entire life is built upon. A healthy man has a thousand wishes, a sick man only one.
Time - Having control over your time enables you to focus on what truly matters. You can always make more money, but time is a non-renewable resource. Prioritize accordingly.
Optionality - As Morgan Housel puts it: "Wealth is the nice cars not purchased. The diamonds not bought. The watches not worn, the clothes forgone and the first-class upgrade declined. Wealth is financial assets that haven’t yet been converted into the stuff you see."
Having nice things doesn't equate to wealth if it keeps you in circumstances you don't like. If you drive a car you can't afford to a job you hate, you're fooling yourself.
Naval Ravikant puts it this way: "Most people don't realize that people who live below their means enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles just can't fathom."
True wealth is the ability to choose. That being said, there's nothing inherently wrong with having or wanting nice things. Acquire them intentionally.
Principle 6: Work Smarter
"If you gave me six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe" Abe Lincoln, allegedly
To gain freedom and agency in any area of life, you need the mindset of doing things more effectively. This is intuitive if you have skin in the game, but the school system and hourly wages teach us to do the opposite - to look busy.
Working harder is doing more stuff. Working smarter is doing better stuff. If you figure out how to get the same or better results with less time and effort - you have created leverage. Such leverage gives you more time and resources, which in turn gives you optionality.
Want more control over your lifestyle? Want to develop a competitive advantage? Or maybe take a day off? Working smarter lets you do that.
Conclusion
Lifestyle design isn't merely about shaping the life you live; it's about redefining what true wealth, happiness, and success mean to you. No matter who you are or what you want out of life, the process of intentional lifestyle design encourages you to step back and consider what truly contributes to your fulfillment. You might experience social pushback from friends and family who don't understand your priorities, but in the end, it's all worth it.
Remember, unconventional people get unconventional results.
